Transfer Deadline Day

You've only got until 11-30pm to change your name to something exotic, preferably Spanish or Portuguese, and to get a mate to become your agent. He can then contact an idiot at an English football club and sell you for several million quid. All the better if you know a computer geek who can doctor a film of you, supposedly playing in South America, and post it on YouTube.

Sounds ridiculous? Remember Graham Souness and Ali Dia!

Andy Gray's Sexist Comments

We totally and unconditionally condemn Andy Gray's sexist comments about that poor lineswoman (pictured below). What a caveman!

Football, Ryan Babel and Whining Scousers!

Calm down, calm down

It's one of those facts of life, Mancunians can't resist having a pop at Scousers, and Scousers can't resist having a pop at us, or a great long whinge when Manchester United beat them! Underneath what can admittedly turn quite venomous when football is involved, we all love it and wouldn't have it any other way. Take football out of the equation and, in my expeience, Mancunians and Scousers actually get on really well. There, I've said it.

So I was ecstatic on Sunday when, beer in hand I watched United beat Liverpool in the FA Cup at Old Trafford live on TV. Then I really enjoyed winding up the Liverpool fans I know, none of them real Scousers as it happens but I enjoyed it anyway.

Then I really enjoyed hearing Scousers moaning and whining about the referee being United's twelfth man. Come on, it's not that long ago the world was whining about every penalty Liverpool got at Anfield, that's how it goes when you are a successful club. And, as they say, good decisions and bad go for and against you and over the season even themselves out.

Then Ryan Babel went on Twitter and had a pop at the referee, posting a photo of him that had been edited and showed him in a United shirt. His comment was: "And they call him one of the best referees? SMH (shaking my head)". I must admit, I found it mildly amusing. But the lunatics at the Football Association have charged him with improper conduct. The FA charging anybody with improper conduct smacks of stinking hypocrisy when you look at the appalling standards of behaviour and professionalism of the idiots in charge of English football.

Bear in mind Babel is also a Dutchman and I don't think the referee, Howard Webb, endeared himself to the people of Holland when he refereed the World Cup, so Babel probably found what he thought were poor decisions just added insult to injury.

When you look at the state of English football, gates dropping as evidenced by attendances at weekend in the FA Cup, Russia and Quatar getting to host the World Cup in a few years time, a FIFA rep stepping down because corruption seems to be endemic, you'd think that people at the FA would have more pressing things to worry about than a player, perhaps a bit emotional after a big game, posting an ill advised comment on Twitter.

It really is a joke.

Atmospheric Games-Gremio v Boca Juniors

This is what I call an atmosphere: